I guess what is on my mind this week is what the future will bring. As I am no longer going through the process of becoming a teacher I am reflecting on what I will do next. I intend on finishing my degree for my M Ed. I don't know exactly what this will lead to, but it seems that since I have come this far I would like to finish this. I still have my commitment to education and the social justice principles that I believe in. Perhaps there is something I will be able to do in another arena to support this. Things don't always turn out as we plan. I have become more attuned to this as I have gotten older. The thing that I have also learned is that if the plan changes it does not mean that it still won't provide something of value. So I will look for the value in this and move forward. There is always something to be learned.

When I think about education and learning I have always tried to frame it as something that every student is privileged for .It is our educational system that states that everyone has a right to an education and because of that learning is not a carrot held at the end of a stick. It is the goal of every person that strives or professes themselves to be an educator to provide for a student. This week I found that there is a "line" that exists in education. This line demarcates where a teacher will withdraw their support of a students learning.It is the usually indicated when a I hear teacher say," If he won't make the effort,then neither will I". Or,"That student has pushed me far enough, they can just sit there and take an "F". These are not just occasional remarks,even though I think that does not really matter. I have heard these from just about every teacher that I have come in contact with. Sometimes accompanied by words that would have a student thrown out of class. And there always seems to be a nod of understanding or words of support for this position from fellow teachers.
I am not going to judge these teachers and their reasons for these remarks. I do not have enough knowledge of the context or the history for the reasons why they say these things. What I want to know is what is the flaw in the educational system that makes this an option. I say that it is a flaw because it should be recognized as one. I don't believe that someone who decides to enter into teaching ever thinks that one day it will be their right to deny anyone an education. If they do then I would say that there is something deeply flawed about their reasons for teaching. So if a person enters into teaching with a belief that everyone in their classroom has the right to be educated,to learn, what changes that belief? I do not see it as a something that changes within the person. That is,unless there is some organic cause for this and cannot be helped. I believe that it must be something outside the person that causes the change. Of course someone might immediately state that the outside cause is the "other person", the student. But this just puts the argument back into the same place that it started from. I propose that it is the system, the situation,the way education is being evolved that makes the teacher fall into this type of reasoning. The next thing would then be a long list of detriments to the educational process. "High stakes testing", over crowded classrooms, cut backs in funding, political meddling. But these are just the manifestations of a deeper flaw. What I feel is at the bottom of this is a loss of direction about what education should be. At some point the original intent was highjacked by a value system that placed a higher premium on "quantity" than "quality". That is, we should view the end product of education as "units produced" instead of "individuals educated". Given this, it is easy to descard those "units" that don't function as needed. Students that fail to process at the required rate are not going to be seen as worthy to recieve knowledge. Many would say that this is nothing new. Many educational reform movements have said this same thing. What I am pointing towards is the "other" in this situation, the teacher. Teacher's who commit themselves to staying in their profession for the "long haul" are damaged by this also. They go from being supporters of every students need and abilities, to becoming arbitiers of students lives. By deciding that a student no longer deserves an education they effectively remove them from the society they exist in. What good is there in damaging a teacher's perspective about what they are trained to do?
I worry about myself. If I will become that teacher. I worry about others that I know who want to teach and have great hearts for doing it. Will they change into this type of person? I am concerned every time I hear a practicing teacher make those types of damaging comments. I think that if our society is to really survive,really be competative in the world, really live up to the promises that it makes to every child that enters school it will have to start seeing teachers in a different light. Education movements, researchers,teachers themselves will need to recognize that their wellbeing is as important asa the students in a healthy education system. This is something that I will keep in mind as I go forward. It is something that I will remind others of when they are about to give up on a student. I hope that there is a change that can be made.

This will have to be a short post as I am experiencing some time/project related constraints. I had a fairly quite week at school. I was able to help a few students get through some problems with their work. I made every effort to keep my CT's happy. I taught a lesson that was given a smile and a "good work". So, sometimes there aren't any great epiphanies. Sometimes it is just a quite week and that's enough. Maybe that reflects on things going well enough because it is becoming easier. Maybe it is just coincidence. I don't know. I am just happy that every now and then things go well and I can be part of it. Sometimes life can be summed in a few words, a smile, or a deep breath. Being in the moment. I'll take any or all of those. We'll see what next week brings.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

This week might be referred to as a "study in contrasts". I had developed a lesson plan that was to be observed by one of my clinical faculty for Social Studies. It was something of a stretch as I had not tried anything like it before and I was dealing with a compressed instructional time frame. My purpose was to try and determine what weaknesses and strengths I might have in teaching this type of lesson. I was also interested in how students in two different sections of SS would perform. After a week of planning I was ready to give it my best shot. The first class was not observed by my clinical faculty but my CT was present and it went relatively well. I always feel that the first time I give a lesson I am a little nervous. But I made mental notes about what seemed to work and what didn't and then went into the second period feeling more confident. My clinical faculty sat in the back of the room with my CT as I proceeded through the lesson. The students in this period were a little more confused by the activity so I slowed my instruction pace and spent more time on clarifying the instructions. At the end of class I felt that things had gone pretty well and made more notes about what I would need to do in the future to make the lesson go smoother.
After school was over I met with my clinical faculty to discuss my performance. The comments were positive and I was given support for my analysis of what I saw to be strengths and weaknesses in my teaching of the lesson. The next day I was able to debrief the lesson with my CT. This is where the "contrast" became evident. My CT was very unhappy with the way the lesson had gone. The comments were negative and I was very confused as to how I could have generated such differing perspectives between my CT and my clinical faculty. This lead to some very deep reflection about how I am developing as a teacher.
I think the first lesson that I take away from this is; no matter what, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". That is I may think I have delivered a great lesson and I may even get positive feedback, but if someone doesn't "get it" then I really need to think about what I am trying to do. One thing I am not trying to do is please myself. Teaching is making sure that my students are learning. I understand that it is important to push them to learn,to think,to develop. But this should not be done in way that hinders their understanding and damages my relationship with them. I need to be very aware of what their strengths and weaknesses are before I set out to teach them.
The next point that I take away from this that some times I will succeed in my teaching and sometimes I will fail. Often this is a matter of point of view. This is common to all undertakings. What I need to remember is that this is a process, not a one time event. I need to be able to acknowledge my failures and remember my successes. I have read more than one teacher's blog that deals with a huge failure to connect in a lesson. Then I read that he or she has been teaching for many years as they proceed to explain what went wrong and what might be a solution. It will always be a daily attempt to find the best way to engage with my students and their learning. I read somewhere that a teacher asked his mentor how he could become better at his profession. The mentor answered,"To be a good teacher you need to be a good student."
This is last point that I take away from this week; I am learning. Sometimes I get it "right" and sometimes I get it "wrong". I need to remember that the "wrong" is often an entry point to knowledge of a deeper kind. It is where my weakness becomes the strength to understand how I can do better. It is the path of the student. The corrections make learning more directed. They point to what needs to be understood,not what is known. I need to keep this before me as I continue in this process of becoming a teacher.