Saturday, December 5, 2009

Last Post

So last post. What are the "take away's" that I have for this quarter? I think there are several. First, there is a great deal of learning that has to be accomplished in order to facilitate change. The effort is worth it and I think that I have been able to learn quite a lot about myself and others. Second,there are lessons that propel one forward and lessons that hold one back. The one's that push us forward are often enough to negate the one's that hold us back; one just has to be aware of how far they have come. Nothing is ever gained without resistance. Nothing worth anything. Third, don't believe everything someone tells you. There are as many points of view as there those to speak them. As Bracey(2006)warns that often we are swayed by lack of critical analysis of what we read or are told. There is always an agenda and it is best to remember that until we sort out what that is, we must suspend our judgement. Inquiry and critical perspective are two things that will stay with me. I intend to rely on them as much as possible in future. Lastly, thanks to all. I have had a great deal of pleasure learning in your company. I am more than sure that great things will be accomplished by every one of us. I hope to see the these achievements in the future. Works Cited- Bracey,G.W. (2006). Data,their uses and abuses. Reading educational research: How to avoid getting snookered, (pp 1-35). Portsmouth, NH.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

I guess what is on my mind this week is what the future will bring. As I am no longer going through the process of becoming a teacher I am reflecting on what I will do next. I intend on finishing my degree for my M Ed. I don't know exactly what this will lead to, but it seems that since I have come this far I would like to finish this. I still have my commitment to education and the social justice principles that I believe in. Perhaps there is something I will be able to do in another arena to support this. Things don't always turn out as we plan. I have become more attuned to this as I have gotten older. The thing that I have also learned is that if the plan changes it does not mean that it still won't provide something of value. So I will look for the value in this and move forward. There is always something to be learned.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

When I think about education and learning I have always tried to frame it as something that every student is privileged for .It is our educational system that states that everyone has a right to an education and because of that learning is not a carrot held at the end of a stick. It is the goal of every person that strives or professes themselves to be an educator to provide for a student. This week I found that there is a "line" that exists in education. This line demarcates where a teacher will withdraw their support of a students learning.It is the usually indicated when a I hear teacher say," If he won't make the effort,then neither will I". Or,"That student has pushed me far enough, they can just sit there and take an "F". These are not just occasional remarks,even though I think that does not really matter. I have heard these from just about every teacher that I have come in contact with. Sometimes accompanied by words that would have a student thrown out of class. And there always seems to be a nod of understanding or words of support for this position from fellow teachers.
I am not going to judge these teachers and their reasons for these remarks. I do not have enough knowledge of the context or the history for the reasons why they say these things. What I want to know is what is the flaw in the educational system that makes this an option. I say that it is a flaw because it should be recognized as one. I don't believe that someone who decides to enter into teaching ever thinks that one day it will be their right to deny anyone an education. If they do then I would say that there is something deeply flawed about their reasons for teaching. So if a person enters into teaching with a belief that everyone in their classroom has the right to be educated,to learn, what changes that belief? I do not see it as a something that changes within the person. That is,unless there is some organic cause for this and cannot be helped. I believe that it must be something outside the person that causes the change. Of course someone might immediately state that the outside cause is the "other person", the student. But this just puts the argument back into the same place that it started from. I propose that it is the system, the situation,the way education is being evolved that makes the teacher fall into this type of reasoning. The next thing would then be a long list of detriments to the educational process. "High stakes testing", over crowded classrooms, cut backs in funding, political meddling. But these are just the manifestations of a deeper flaw. What I feel is at the bottom of this is a loss of direction about what education should be. At some point the original intent was highjacked by a value system that placed a higher premium on "quantity" than "quality". That is, we should view the end product of education as "units produced" instead of "individuals educated". Given this, it is easy to descard those "units" that don't function as needed. Students that fail to process at the required rate are not going to be seen as worthy to recieve knowledge. Many would say that this is nothing new. Many educational reform movements have said this same thing. What I am pointing towards is the "other" in this situation, the teacher. Teacher's who commit themselves to staying in their profession for the "long haul" are damaged by this also. They go from being supporters of every students need and abilities, to becoming arbitiers of students lives. By deciding that a student no longer deserves an education they effectively remove them from the society they exist in. What good is there in damaging a teacher's perspective about what they are trained to do?
I worry about myself. If I will become that teacher. I worry about others that I know who want to teach and have great hearts for doing it. Will they change into this type of person? I am concerned every time I hear a practicing teacher make those types of damaging comments. I think that if our society is to really survive,really be competative in the world, really live up to the promises that it makes to every child that enters school it will have to start seeing teachers in a different light. Education movements, researchers,teachers themselves will need to recognize that their wellbeing is as important asa the students in a healthy education system. This is something that I will keep in mind as I go forward. It is something that I will remind others of when they are about to give up on a student. I hope that there is a change that can be made.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

This will have to be a short post as I am experiencing some time/project related constraints. I had a fairly quite week at school. I was able to help a few students get through some problems with their work. I made every effort to keep my CT's happy. I taught a lesson that was given a smile and a "good work". So, sometimes there aren't any great epiphanies. Sometimes it is just a quite week and that's enough. Maybe that reflects on things going well enough because it is becoming easier. Maybe it is just coincidence. I don't know. I am just happy that every now and then things go well and I can be part of it. Sometimes life can be summed in a few words, a smile, or a deep breath. Being in the moment. I'll take any or all of those. We'll see what next week brings.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

This week might be referred to as a "study in contrasts". I had developed a lesson plan that was to be observed by one of my clinical faculty for Social Studies. It was something of a stretch as I had not tried anything like it before and I was dealing with a compressed instructional time frame. My purpose was to try and determine what weaknesses and strengths I might have in teaching this type of lesson. I was also interested in how students in two different sections of SS would perform. After a week of planning I was ready to give it my best shot. The first class was not observed by my clinical faculty but my CT was present and it went relatively well. I always feel that the first time I give a lesson I am a little nervous. But I made mental notes about what seemed to work and what didn't and then went into the second period feeling more confident. My clinical faculty sat in the back of the room with my CT as I proceeded through the lesson. The students in this period were a little more confused by the activity so I slowed my instruction pace and spent more time on clarifying the instructions. At the end of class I felt that things had gone pretty well and made more notes about what I would need to do in the future to make the lesson go smoother.
After school was over I met with my clinical faculty to discuss my performance. The comments were positive and I was given support for my analysis of what I saw to be strengths and weaknesses in my teaching of the lesson. The next day I was able to debrief the lesson with my CT. This is where the "contrast" became evident. My CT was very unhappy with the way the lesson had gone. The comments were negative and I was very confused as to how I could have generated such differing perspectives between my CT and my clinical faculty. This lead to some very deep reflection about how I am developing as a teacher.
I think the first lesson that I take away from this is; no matter what, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". That is I may think I have delivered a great lesson and I may even get positive feedback, but if someone doesn't "get it" then I really need to think about what I am trying to do. One thing I am not trying to do is please myself. Teaching is making sure that my students are learning. I understand that it is important to push them to learn,to think,to develop. But this should not be done in way that hinders their understanding and damages my relationship with them. I need to be very aware of what their strengths and weaknesses are before I set out to teach them.
The next point that I take away from this that some times I will succeed in my teaching and sometimes I will fail. Often this is a matter of point of view. This is common to all undertakings. What I need to remember is that this is a process, not a one time event. I need to be able to acknowledge my failures and remember my successes. I have read more than one teacher's blog that deals with a huge failure to connect in a lesson. Then I read that he or she has been teaching for many years as they proceed to explain what went wrong and what might be a solution. It will always be a daily attempt to find the best way to engage with my students and their learning. I read somewhere that a teacher asked his mentor how he could become better at his profession. The mentor answered,"To be a good teacher you need to be a good student."
This is last point that I take away from this week; I am learning. Sometimes I get it "right" and sometimes I get it "wrong". I need to remember that the "wrong" is often an entry point to knowledge of a deeper kind. It is where my weakness becomes the strength to understand how I can do better. It is the path of the student. The corrections make learning more directed. They point to what needs to be understood,not what is known. I need to keep this before me as I continue in this process of becoming a teacher.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

"The Odyssey" vs "Holes"

This week in seminar there seemed to be quite a bit of discussion around the subject of what texts are being read in our classrooms and how our students were interacting with those texts. I was surprised that three,including myself, of five student teachers were all experiencing something similar in their concerns about how texts are selected and presented to students. For myself, I was not wrestling with something as weighty as "The Odyssey" but I was still dealing with students who were not engaged in the reading. In fact, from what I could tell by show of hands, half the class had determined that they were "could not understand the story". The book, "The Once and Future King", is written with a more modern and younger audience in mind, yet there was not much connection to the story. This gave me a real "aha moment" when Lisa explained how she had achieved a breakthrough. This also connected me to what Wilhelm and Neito are talking about when they discuss how and why students read.

Wihelm asks the question, "So,what is Literature?". This was a point that was touched on in our seminar class and I think it speaks to half of what I see as the problem with my students disinterest in reading. It seems that in many schools there is still a perceived need to have students read "the classics", or in lieu of that, stick to the curriculum derived reading list. In both cases I see that students are left out of the process of determining what texts might interest them.Wilhelm states that he would have teachers as agents who "...put students in touch with a wide variety of books and ideas...". If this is true, and I believe strongly that it is, how would this be accomplished? I think that Lisa gave a very insightful way of approaching this when she found a text,"Holes", that supported the same type of story structure as the "Odyssey" and was accepted by her students as useful in understanding what she was trying to teach. What I heard Lisa say was that she asked them what they had read that had similar characteristics to the plot of "The Odyssey" and they were able to tell her. So, here is the first part of what I would want to try in my classroom. The idea of a student driven literature curriculum . I believe that students could provide me with an understanding of what they enjoy and want to read. Now, I am still in agreement with what Whilhelm describes as "valid reading", but given enough material I am confident that a reading list could be developed that would support my curriculum objectives. Perhaps I could do something like use short sections of texts that may not work in their entirety to engage students connected with texts that they choose and which still conform to curriculum objectives.

The other problem that might be solved is a need that Nieto argues for,that of providing textual material that is valid to more than one culture. Most of my classrooms are multicultural. As I stand before these classes and read poetry by Tennyson, I cringe at the looks of incomprehension. If I could have these students provide me with a direction to take for literature,instead of forcing one on them, how much more could we do together to open up new texts and viewpoints? Again, Lisa's class was able to direct her towards the type of story that fulfilled this concept by stating what they felt was valid in their social context. What kinds of text would my ESL and ELL students lead me to if they could provide the reading list?

I have no doubt that my students really do want to learn. They really do want to show me and their peers that they "get it".Giving my students a choice about texts is something that I will implement in my classroom. I see that over a period of time this could become a rich resource that would provide not only depth,but relevancy. I see this as concept that I can develop to give them a way to succeed. In turn they can help me succeed.

Friday, October 23, 2009

The journey of ten thousand steps....

"Tia,why aren't you writing?" " I can't write!" This very brief conversation gave me another pause for reflection as I walked around the classroom during 5th period. 5th period is the "tough one" for my CT in World History. It is a "regular" class, made up of those students who are often considered to be "difficult learners". Much of my CT's time is spent managing the class as opposed to teaching. Some days most of the class instruction addresses behavior problems. This class has diversity, disability, and attitude. It also has some of the brightest kids in the school.They just don't know it.
Tia,for example, wrote in her private biographical letter to my CT that she "has trouble with authority figures". One might imagine how that went over. But when I read it I thought,"This is great! She is honest about something that is going to be a problem if I make it one. So I have really tried not to be an "authority figure" to Tia. Not that I have let her do what she wants for fear of being viewed as one, but I have tried to make her aware that I will honor her point of view. She is usually not engaged in the classroom discussion but it has been made clear that she needs to listen and converse. She has been something of a cypher because of this. I was not really sure about what she does know? Her grades aren't great,but their not bad either. She just didn't seem to see the point of World History. But I taught the class last week and during the lesson something "clicked". I was asking the class what they knew about the Romans as I wanted to start a conversation from what they knew,not what the book told them. Tia could not keep her hand down. She was engaged and really had great answers. Not just to answer the homework questions,but to take the concepts and make connections. She even challenged me when I was wrong and it was one of the best moments of the class. I loved telling her that she was right and I was wrong. I made it a point at the end of class to let her know how much I appreciated her participation. She smiled. So,when the class was given the lesson objective of writing a "thank you" letter to a guest speaker I was surprised that Tia had cleared her desk and was just looking around.
Tia's comment about not being able to write really puzzled me. I went to her and quietly asked her what she meant. She said that she just didn't get writing. I asked he take out her worksheet for the letter and when she did I noticed that underneath was a quiz from another class. There were ten answers,all written out in reasonably good printing. Her score on the quiz was eight out of ten. I told her that I was impressed with her score and congratulated her. I said that I also noted that she had written out the answers. So I asked what she meant when she said she couldn't write. With some frustration she said that she didn't understand the directions for the letter. I asked her to take out the directions and started to go over them with her. She said that she knew how to write a letter,but the instructions for what the letter had to contain didn't make sense. I could see that this was increasing her frustration so I told I understood,but I was sure she was capable. I reminded her that she had written the answers to the test. She said that those were answers to questions and then noted that the letter requirements weren't questions. I saw that she wasn't kidding about her confusion. Her voice and body language were consistent with someone who was confused and upset and I was worried I was going to loose her. So I said that maybe we should look at the requirements as questions and not statements. She looked at me as if I was really coming out of left field. "How could you do that?" was her comment. I said that we should try and reframe the way the statement was written. I took the first requirement and restated it as a question. When I did that she was able to answer it. The second one was a bit harder to make sense of but instead of giving up, Tia pulled out her notes from the lecture and found what she needed to answer the question. At that point I told her that she had the idea. She could do it. Unfourtunately the class was over and Tia left for her next class. Since I was not in school the next day, I don't know if she finished. I hope she did. I certainly believe that she had made enough of a connection with what I was trying to show her that she could do "something" as opposed to "nothing".
This just shows me that it is always going to come down to believing in my kids and not going along with the category that they have been placed in. They aren't "difficult learners". We are "difficult teachers". We make it hard for them because we often don't really know what it takes for them to understand. Maybe it is the "time" factor, the class size,the need to get through the curriculum. I don't know, I have not had enough experience in the classroom and the school to be able to answer with any understanding. What I do see is a need to change any or all of those factors when I become a teacher. If those are what stand in the way of Tia writing, or any student showing their potential, then they have to go. I'll figure this out at some point. It may take a while,but it's a journey and I am enjoying the company. I think I'll keep walking.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

In living color

This week started with a wonderful experience that supported my desire to be a teacher and a more authentic person. When I first walked into the building early Tuesday morning I really didn't know what to expect. I had not been in class for five days and I was wondering if I would be able to catch up after being gone so long. As I walked through the hall one of my students noticed me and immediately greeted me with, "Mr. Avery, where have you been?" I could not help but grin as I said, "Good morning." This was followed by a brief discussion about how my schedule had changed and what happened while I was gone. When I walked into my first period classroom I found that several of my students had arrived early and were sitting at a table talking. When they noticed me entering the room they all greeted me with loud,"Good mornings!" and "Where have you been?", "Why weren't you here?" "We missed you!" I felt that if the day stopped right then it would be complete. I was so amazed and humbled by how genuine their interest was and how I had become part of their classroom experience. We talked for a few minutes to catch up and then they returned to their conversations and I got down to some housekeeping,but as students continued to trickle in before the bell they would greet me and let me know that I had been missed. This continued to happen during the day as I moved through my classes and I never stopped being overwhelmed by their interest.
What do I take away from this? A couple of things. First, one can rarely know the influence they have on others. Before this encounter I had spent every day wondering,"Have I done something that connects with my students?" Often I thought that I am just a small presence in the back of the room who occasionally makes some comment or passes out papers,but is not really part of their reality. This showed me that even the small things that I had done, greeting them at the door,answering their questions in class, noticing them in the hall even when they wanted to be "invisible" really did matter. It was an opportunity,one that rarely occurs as we go about our busy days, to see that we can matter to others. From this I was able to see in "living color" what Neito, Deiro,And Cushman all write about; students are aware of our presence and the person/teacher that we want to be is the one that we need to show them at all times. This is not to say that we should be to be "acting". In fact I believe that if I tried to be unauthentic before my students they would easily recognize this and treat me accordingly. It is being ourselves and striving towards being that teacher who we conceptualize as the ideal,knowing that we will never be that perfect. It is being made aware that along the journey towards that ideal, we are recognized for trying and encouraged to go on. This is what my students did for me. I hope that I can do it for them.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Why are we here?

This week I mentioned to members of my cohort that I saw what I considered to be a loss of direction in one of my classrooms. This occured after watching one of my CT's try and engage her classroom in the lesson for 40 minutes and never really having any buy in from them. Finally she stopped and asked them,in what was desperate tone,"Why are you here? Why are you coming to school?" Now, in some situations this would be an excellent lead in question,perhaps during thhe first week of school to establish norms. But in this particular context it was in response to my CT's inability to interest here class in any type of learning. She did get their attention. When she asked the question there was an immeadiate silence. This was followed by a few responses,given very tentively, about having to attend due to legal and partental constraints. But nothing about wanting to learn. From this I take away two points.
The first is what I percieved happening when my CT asked her question. The students went quiet. They had been engaged in quite a bit of personal conversation and non-engaged activity. But this got their attention. So, why was this question so much more interesting than what she was trying to teach? I don't think it was. I think it was confusing for the students as they were being asked not to define why they were in school,but why my CT was there. She was asking them why she was there if they were not interested in learning. As a construct of classroom management I believe that it is fundamental to "know why you are there". Students are aware of why they are there;they have to be or there are some very definite consquences provided by adults.When a teacher does not know why they are in the classroom and has to ask for external confirmation this will only create confuison with the students. Students should not be asked to determine what the fundimental role of their teacher is. They are in the classroom to learn. If they have to explain why the adult is there,to teach, then the adult is putting a great burden on the students.Why should they be responsible for telling the teacher her resposibilites to them. In effect the structure of the classroom has been disrupted.
This leads to my second point; why didn't the students answer that they were in the classroom to learn? I feel that this is central theme behind the situation that occured. If students do not see themselves as learners in classrooms then they will create the kind of turmoil that presented my CT with this very frustrating situation. We,as teachers, are in the classroom to develop a sense of wonder and interest about our subject and about the concept of learning. Teachers need be aware that when they are losing the interest of their students it is time to reflect about what they can do to bring them back into the classroom. It also directs my attention to the the old saw that if you want to kill learning,send a kid to school. I am more interested now in what my students feel is "education". I want to discuss with them what caused them to arrive at this point. I want to know if there is anything that they might find interesting school. I am aware that they have to be there. I want them to want to be there and I want to always know why I am there.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Waiting...

Well, this week was somewhat disorienting. Finishing September Experience, starting the "beginning of the end" of the Masters Program ,and receiving evaluations from my CT's all made my head spin around quite a bit. Trying to sort it all out on a Saturday morning after two cups of strong coffee... it's possible that I may go back to bed. I think what really stood out this week was the focus of the discussion at the end of class on Thursday night. Listening to Amy and Lisa speak about the situations that they had experienced in their buildings and classrooms, I hung on their words as they expressed so many of the same feelings and experiences that I have had. There was the concern that something was said or done to harm the relationships that were being forged between ourselves and our students. There was the initiation into "the real world" of schools bringing a realization that schools can be just as dysfunctional as any other workplace. Yet,there was something hovering in the background of all of this that answered how we might be able to overcome these experiences and feelings.
At my school I had taken a student "into the hall"for disrupting the class during a test and been annoyed with them( in what I hoped was a constructive way). Afterwards I was really worried that I had created a barrier between us and I happen to really care about this kid. It is obvious that he has some type of problem in his learning and he cannot concentrate for more than five minutes. I also know that he has a beautiful signing voice and is in two choirs at school for which he shows up before school starts in the morning. I really did not want to lose this kid; but I can't let him disrupt the class. Sound familiar? I asked my CT if this student had an IEP or a 504 plan. They didn't know. They hadn't read them all. Besides, this is high school and the students need to get with the program. How am I going to have enough time to deal with every single kid that needs additional attention? It wasn't that my CT didn't care,there was just so much that they could do in the time they had.
This "time thing" came up again during one of my evaluations. One of my CT's sat down with me to go over how I had performed during my "September Experience". They made it a point to let me know that I was doing OK,but I had to stop asking "pedagogical questions". It was taking too much of their time to answer them and they had other things that they had to do. They told me that we would have a meeting twice a month where I could ask any question I wanted too at that time,otherwise I would need to keep my questions to just the"nuts and bolts"of everyday classroom needs. I was a bit stunned. How am I supposed to learn? Does this occur by just sitting in the classroom? Isn't this why I am going to Graduate School; to learn how to ask the questions that will help me be a better teacher/educator? It was difficult for me to sit there and not challenge the restriction that was being placed on me. And this is where the instruction and mentoring of one of my professors became a valuable tool in my understanding of what path would be the best to follow.
I feel one of the most important concepts that I have been shown is that of "WAITING". We,as student teachers,are learners. We are being taught by our professors to question,think, and develop what we have brought to this situation as a passion to teach. To harness this passion to change what we see. But we are also guest/learners in the schools where we are placed and we must be continually aware of this. So each time I find myself disoriented by some experience; if I just "wait" I will " learn". If I ask questions of my students and am met with blank stares that immediately erode my confidence,if I just wait I find that I am able to re-center and allow that space to become a moment to manage; to "read" the class, are they tired, confused or just organizing their thoughts. Then, I have found, responses start flowing and learning occurs. If I wait and consider the needs of my CT, I see that there are stresses created by how much time a teacher has and that 10 or 15 minutes of directed conversation with me is that much less prep time or time with students who need attention. If I wait, that student I think I may have driven away comes up after class and shows me a copper bracelet that they made in shop and I have the opportunity to praise his abilities and re-establish the caring relationship that engenders learning. If I wait I may be able to see a way to help at least one student who has trouble learning and then , perhaps, I will be able to apply this in the future in my own classroom. Waiting, patience, whatever makes more sense to one's understanding,this is what we must practice on a daily basis. It is a management tool,a social skill, a habit that is so important to develop. It is an awareness that may help us find a way do that thing that is best for students and ourselves.